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After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:1. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. Protect your own heart Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.16. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. Truth is, If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.Be fully transparent If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds…Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. Never stop growing together The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point.Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids.get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them…

Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.8.Allow your woman to When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Fill her soul everyday…learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. A man in Germany responded with some of the deepest insights I’ve read in years. Men in USA and Singapore spoke healing words to men in Europe and India.

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